4AM Thoughts

Hirap naman maging overthinker.

Woke up today 1AM. And 4AM na, di pa ulit nakakatulog. Maaga naman ako nakatulog around 9PM. Woke up because of kaluskos and siguro kasi mainit. Nawawala yung electricfan sa kwarto. We all know sino kumuha. Found my mom sleeping sa sala. Asked her to just sleep beside me kasi ang init ng walang electric fan.

My father consequently woke up too. Then I felt some itchiness sa throat ko. Second morning ko na naramdaman. Dami ko na naisip. Kako, katabi ko pa naman si mama. I got up and followed my father sa kusina. Gargled warm water with salt. Nagpakulo ng tubig at naghugas ng mga baso. Binanlian yung mga utensils. Kinwento ko kay daddy and asked me to drink kalamansi juice. Tapos naisip ko, baka naman acid reflux kaya nangangati tong throat ko. Tapos uminom pa ako ng maasim ngayon baka naman kako lalo lumala. Naka intermittent fasting kasi ako. Last kain ko kahapon is 5PM.

I have a tendency of thinking about worst scenarios. Like what if Im on the last few days of life na pala, or of a loved one. Can’t help but have those thoughts. Lalo na ngayon dami positive cases. All time high pa kanina, grabe yung 15K. Dito sa bayan namin, almost everyday din may new cases.

There were nights na nagigising din ako recently but because of heavy thinking about Taal naman. Kapag nagsspike yung mga volcanic eqs. Nung nag alert level 2, that night I literally woke up from a bad dream na pumutok daw ulit yung bulkan.

Lord, heal our land. Heal all the people who are sick, who are suffering. Let Taal lay to its rest.

Still, thank you for giving your life for us. The freedom that we have right now is because of you.

🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

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